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Not sure if her problem is back pain or anal without enough lube. |
Segueing briefly from politics to other
forms of chronic pain, I finally have a diagnosis for the back problem that has
dogged me intermittently for over four years: Sacroiliitis. (Say it 10x fast.) In prosaic terms, it's inflammation of the SI
joint. Well, there are actually two of
them, on either side of the sacrum. They
perform the minor task of connecting one's spine to one's hips. The inflammation in mine is about 70% on the
left and 30% on the right, which coincidentally also describes my political views.
What's causing them to protest so
vehemently and relentlessly? There are a
variety of possible culprits, as when you are grouchy and it could be anything from
global warming to hangriness to just generally being an arsehole. In the case of sacroiliitis (c'mon, it's such
a weird word you know you like saying it), I could have an anatomical
predisposition to it. It's mainly women who
get it, and my hip bones are wide even by female standards, which puts stress
on the pelvic ligaments. Yes, I have
classic childbearing hips that I have not been able to make use of yet. (Still working on that – as Olympia Dukakis
said in Moonstruck, "It ain't
over 'til it's over".) Alas,
they're not considered nearly as attractive in the 21st century as
they were in the 19th. Wide
hips mean a wide arse, which is never a good thing, Meghan Trainor notwithstanding.Aside to other wide-hipped women out there: Always, always, and I mean always, wear fitted clothing. Baggy clothes are your enemy. Anything that hides your tiny waist is going to make you look like a hippo. Trust me on this one. The bottom half of the hourglass may be fuller than the top, but cinch that waist so it doesn't look like a beaker instead. Think 40s/50s vintage pin-up silhouette. Just buy all your clothing here and you can't go wrong.
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Sorry, wide-hipped sisters, the 1920s was emphatically NOT our era. |
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The 1940s & '50s on the other hand.... |
Arthritis can cause sacroiliitis, as can infection, and some scary diseases. But the most likely cause is traumatic
injury that creates some sort of imbalance that is aggravated with movement like running. In my case, I had a minor riding
accident 7 ½ years ago when I fractured my pelvis in three places on the left
side. It wasn't nearly as dramatic as it
sounds; they were just hairline fractures so nothing appeared to be
displaced. But something is out of
whack, and I don't just mean with the electoral system.
Treatment options suck. I'm not willing to take pain medication even
temporarily, let alone permanently. I
take an ibuprofen once every few months when it's really unbearable and I freak
out just about that. A cortisone
injection might get me through the marathon.
I've only been able to complete about 25% of my training program due to
this and I only have four weeks left to catch up. But the injections are hit or miss, not
guaranteed to make a difference in individual cases, and they are not a simple
matter of popping into the doctor's office for a shot. As an acquaintance who recently had it done
described it, first they inject you with about a quart of lidocaine, although
they admit it only numbs the surface and not deep into the joint where the
cortisone shot will go. Then, using an
ultrasound for guidance, they manoeuvre a needle about the size of a garden hose to
get the cortisone into all the nooks and crannies. It sounds like so much fun, who could
resist? But I am still trying to find
out if my insurance will cover it, and, in case the victim, I mean, patient
requires sedation (which I won't, but my needle-phobic readers are nodding their heads vigorously),
they make you bring someone to drive you home afterwards. I hate asking favours and certainly don't
have any local friends I'd feel comfortable putting up to that.
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So much this. |



But, hey, after years of wondering why my back was trying to ruin my life, at least I have a diagnosis. That's a start. I'll take it, and run with it.
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